Purple People Eaters

Barking Spider
I grew up on the East Coast – where the snow does not melt and the snow stays in a gray dirty piles for months until it is finally warm. I moved to Colorado in 2009 and reinvented myself in different ways. One way I chose to reinvent myself was to try roller derby. Problem was I hadn’t skated since I was a pre-teen. I bought myself $100 skates and proceeded to skate around a park.
Unfortunately, since I forgot how to stop I just threw myself into the grass. After a month of this interesting method of stopping, I found out that roller derby teams will train a person how to be safe on the track and play the game.
Now, several years later, I am still skating in circles on the track and enjoying the comradery from skating with friends. I still skate outside every so often and I can safely stop without throwing myself into the grass.
Position: Blocker
I like: When coffee kicks in at the right time; Fart Jokes – my skater name is a fart joke; Anything with sugar.
I don’t like: Squishy food waste in the sink; When a stray hair gets in your sock and ends up between two toes.

Bettie Rage
Immediately invested in the well-being of the league, I’ve spent the last three years as president. Now I finally get the chance to play for me and get really good until my body just says no.
Position: Blocker
I like: Crafting, wine and friends.
I don’t like: Snotty noses

Bully Jean
Dedicated introvert. Subtly charming zombie advocate. Passionate troublemaker. She’s the one who thinks what you said was dirty.
Positions: Blocker, Pivot
I like: schadenfreude, jólakötturinn, your dog
I don’t like: government cover-ups, putting the pillows into the pillow cases, wet dish sponge smell

Gouda Cris
Born in the mountains and loved to walk in the wilderness from a young age. One day she moved to the city. And though she misses the wilderness one day she found a large grocery store selling expensive cheese.
After taking home some delicious and stinky cheeses she knew she loved cheese from the moment the moldy milk touched her tongue. Today, she can’t go a day without her daily cheese intake. Also, loves skating.
Position: Blocker
I like: Queso Fresco, Cheddar, Bad Bunny, Beyoncé
I don’t like: *butterflies* 🙁 and peas

Razzberry Jamz
Started in the juniors, now we here.
Derby is my home away from home. Love these peeps <3
Positions: Blocker, Jammer
I like: Art, Scary Movies, and Cats
I don’t like: Cold Weather, Deep Water, and Bees